“Weight loss is often interpreted as change, so it’s typically feared that relationships will change as well, and that’s frightening and intimidating for many, especially when they perhaps have a weight concern of their own,” says Brigitte Weil, food coach and founder of I Hate Celery Sticks. “I always suggest sharing weight-loss intentions with friends and family ahead of time, so they know what to expect and have their own time to process their feelings.” (Stop dieting and still lose weight with this metabolism-boosting plan that lets you eat the foods you love.) Even if your friends are fully supportive of your goals, your weight loss probably isn’t at the top of their minds when they host a dinner party or order a round of drinks at the bar. Here are 8 sneaky ways they may slow your progress—and how you can stay on track.
1. They tell you they love you “as you are.”
“While this is endearing and comes from a place of love, it displaces the focus from the person trying to lose weight to feelings of guilt for wanting to be different from their loved ones,” says Allison Tibbs, a certified personal trainer and nutrition coach in San Francisco. “Many times when that is said, they actually are projecting their own experiences with weight loss, which may have not gone very well. They want to protect [you] from feeling the same failure or despair that they once felt.” On the flip side, they may be nervous that you will lose the weight and force your healthy habits on them, or provoke their jealousy, she says. (Here are the 18 best weight-loss tips from women who’ve successfully slimmed down.) Stay on track: Pinpoint exactly why you want to lose weight, and then communicate that reason to your friends and family, says Tibbs. “Let them know how this will be a positive change in your life and that it means a lot to you,” she says. It also helps to buddy up with friends in the midst of their own weight-loss journeys. “Since you are in the same boat, they will encourage you and motivate you to keep pushing when you’re not always getting the support at home,” says Tibbs.
2. They always suggest a new restaurant.
We all have that friend who knows just where to go for the best Taco Tuesday special, or where the coolest new cocktail spot is. “It seems that no matter what they are doing at the time, food is always involved,” says Steve Siebold, a psychological performance coach and author of Die Fat or Get Tough: 101 Differences in Thinking Between Fat People and Fit People. It’s hard to turn down a tempting invite (hello, tacos!), especially if you want to catch up and chat. (Here are 8 friends every woman needs in her life.) Stay on track: See if there’s something on the menu that fits within your new diet, suggest another restaurant, or simply say, “not this time,” says Becky Mehr, MS, RD, LDN, outpatient dietitian at The Renfrew Center of Nashville. If it’s a coworker asking you to lunch, “the invitation is a way to get out of the office for a time to relax rather than just eating at the new place,” she says. Try going for a walk or grabbing coffee together instead. Just a few of the great health benefits of coffee:
3. They order for the table.
“When someone else takes the reigns and orders for the table you may end up with less-healthful food choices than you would prefer,” says Edwina Clark, MS, RD, CSSD, and head of nutrition and wellness at Yummly. “One meal is not a big deal, but when this happens several times it can add up.” In other words, always taking your friend up on the appetizer or dessert she wants to share won’t do you any favors. Stay on track: “Try to fill at least half of your plate with non-starchy veggies, and make the remainder up with protein and carbs,” says Clark. “Skip the creamy options and heavy condiments, and go for the plainer items on the table instead.” Pulling up to the table with a smart eating strategy in place will help keep you from giving into temptation. (Avoid the 9 unhealthiest meals at chain restaurants.)
4. They encourage small cheats.
But you’re always so good. Sound familiar? “It’s hard not to feel guilty and cave to less healthy choices when a friend or family member implies that eating healthy is rigid or boring,” says Clark. Another common taunt: It’s just one [blank]. “Whether that blank is a piece of bread before dinner, a slice of cake in the office, or even referring to the entire meal before ordering, one of many different things adds up,” says Chelsey Amer, MS, RD, a nutrition consultant in Manhattan. (Try these 5 slimming habits of people who’ve lost more than 30 pounds and kept it off, from Prevention Premium.) Stay on track: “Explain to the person that you’re working toward a goal, and that experimenting and trying healthy dishes isn’t all gloom and doom,” says Clark. “People are less likely to give you a hard time about your food decisions when there’s a plausible reason for your choices.” Try sharing a healthy treat you’ve come to love—your friend may get as hooked on cauliflower rice or dessert hummus as you are. MORE: 8 Nutritionists Reveal What They Eat When They’re Craving Something Sweet
5. They keep refilling your wine glass.
Beware of drinking your calories. “Several glasses of wine can amount to hundreds of extra calories,” says Carol Michaels, a personal trainer and founder of Carol Michaels Fitness. And pouring you another margarita or glass of beer isn’t helping either. (Here are 8 things that happen when you stop drinking alcohol.) Stay on track: “To cope with the wine-pouring friend, [have] a discussion prior to going out,” says Michaels. She may not even realize that splitting a bottle is problematic for your weight-loss goals. “If you are going out with friends and everyone is consuming alcohol, you have the option of refusing or you can just mix wine with seltzer or even vodka with flavored (not artificially sweetened) seltzer and a twist or splash of juice,” says Cheryl Russo, a personal trainer and health coach outside New York City. “This will cut a lot of the calories.” (Or try one of these nutritionist-approved drinks.) Check out how alcohol affects your body:
6. They make gatherings all about the food.
Chips, brownies, and buffalo chicken dip are stars of the buffet table, but not so stellar for losing weight. They “are a cheap and painless way to feed a large number of people,” says Clark. “The downside is that they’re light on nutrients that promote satiety like protein and fiber, and big on calories, making it easy to overindulge.” One party isn’t a big deal, but you may need to mentally prepare if you have several on the calendar. Stay on track: “Bring a healthy snacking option to add to the table,” says Clark. She suggests carrots and hummus (try one of these tasty hummus recipes), fruit skewers with yogurt dip, or homemade energy balls. Another option: “Shift social gatherings away from foods and drinks altogether,” says Matt Grieser, RD, CD, a clinical dietitian at Indiana University Health Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. “Get together with friends for a walk, hike, bike ride, or exercise class.”
7. They think they’re offering you healthy options.
“If your family and friends know you are trying to be healthy, they may not outright tempt you with red velvet cupcakes; however, they are likely to bring you some type of goodie, especially at gatherings,” says Gabrielle L. Kane, a registered dietitian nutritionist in Houston. The problem is, these healthy alternatives aren’t always so healthy. Take the low-fat, gluten-free cookies Kane’s friend brought to a party for her weight loss-minded friends, who gobbled them up. “These cookies were still loaded with sugar, and after analyzing the nutrition content, they ended up containing similar amounts of calories and carbohydrates to a regular chocolate chip cookie,” Kane says. MORE: 4 Foods That Burn Belly Fat Stay on track: Thank your friends for being so thoughtful, and then talk to them about your diet. “Your family and friends may just be unfamiliar with your weight-loss goals, and with the foods that could be detrimental to those goals,” says Kane. “Take some time to explain your weight-loss plan, inform them of any foods you are trying to limit, and be honest with them about how they can help.” They’ll likely be more than happy to toss a fruit salad rather than bake dessert next time. (These Prevention Premium desserts aren’t loaded with extra sugar or refined flour, but still taste like heaven.)
8. They don’t actually believe you can lose weight.
For all of your well-intentioned friends, you may encounter some who poke fun at you or bring up past failed attempts. “Maybe they’ve heard you talk about losing weight before, or perhaps they just don’t believe you can do it for whatever reason,” says Siebold. “But either way, they are a deterrent for you becoming successful.” (Here are 4 ways to politely deal with a food bully.) Stay on track: “You need to make it very clear to them that you are serious about getting healthy,” says Siebold. “Ask them to either support you in your journey or keep their comments to themselves.” Simple as that.
