Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign surveyed 179 healthy men and women, asking them how they regulated their emotions and how anxious they were. Participants tended to respond to situations in one of two ways: through reappraisal—that is, looking at a problem in a positive new way with a glass-half-full perspective—or by suppression, where a person hides his emotions and behaves totally neutrally. Everyone uses both sometimes, of course. But those who more often confronted challenges with reappraisal were less anxious than those who used suppression to hide their emotions. Those who regularly practiced suppression also had a stronger tendency toward depression. But thankfully, you don’t have to be a Pollyanna all the time. Suppression can actually be a useful technique in many situations, especially when you need to react fast. “If you’re confronted with a situation and you have a fast response which might be negative, then it’s better to suppress right away,” said Florin Dolcos, PhD, assistant professor of psychology and part of the research team. “Reappraisal works after the fact.” Wondering when you should bottle it up, and when you should look on the bright side? Check out your handy anti-anxiety playbook: Use reappraisal:
When you get an annoying email. Ping! You’ve got (really infuriating) mail. Your coworker dropped the ball on your team project—and seemed to blame it all on you, with your boss CC’ed. “You don’t have to respond right away,” Dr. Dolcos said. “It’s better, actually, to wait a little, take time to calm down, and use reappraisal: ‘They didn’t really mean that’, ‘It must be a mistake, or ‘I shouldn’t have a negative interpretation,’” he said.When your friend is 30 minutes late (again.) Getting mad won’t get her to the restaurant faster, so think of the time you spend waiting for your friend—or in line at the grocery store, or for your delayed flight at the airport—as some rare just-for-you time. Write, meditate, or make a call to that transatlantic pal you’ve been meaning to catch up with.When times get tough. If you’re coming to grips with a job loss, reappraise the situation to seek out the positive. Maybe this is really an opportunity to find the perfect job for you, Dr. Dolcos (who is an eternal reappraiser) suggested.
Use suppression:
When your boss yells at you. If you break down in tears—or, worse still, yell back—you could find yourself in hot water. Better to play your poker face and take stroll at lunch to reassess.When your best friend blames you—and she’s at fault. Friendships are worth fighting for, even through the fights. It’s better to temporarily suppress your anger than to blow your fuse and say things that might be hard to take back later.When your mascara isn’t waterproof. We’ve all been there: you’re about to skate into the packed arena for your debut roller derby when you get the bad news that King Fluffball took a cat nap and never woke up, under the babysitter’s watch. Tears are natural, but save them ‘til after you kill your performance. Plus, suppressing emotion will actually reduce the intensity of the response—as long as you have a proper cry-fest later.
