Most of us have encountered someone along the way who seems hell-bent on trying to break us down. Sometimes it’s a coworker, sometimes it’s a family member. Sometimes the criticism can be direct, and sometimes it can come in a very surreptitious, passive-aggressive way. But when it comes, it can be destructive and can have an impact on your self-esteem. Recently, when someone I care about came to me with deep concern about criticism she was receiving, I thought long and hard about what it takes to keep your self-esteem in a world that might try to break it down. And I came up with these four simple steps:

  1. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. There are two kinds of people, those that cut you down and those that lift you up. Choose to be around the ones who lift you up. Distance yourself from the ones that cut you down, even if they are family. Sometimes a healthy distance is needed to create a healthy person.
  2. Throw out the scale. A number does not tell you how awesome you are, how smart you are, how funny you are, how beautiful you are or how important you are. It is just a number on a scale. That is all. (Check out 5 Ways To Love The Body You Have)  
  3. Get outside. Countless studies show how important sunlight is for you, for your emotions and your well-being. If the Internet is the new smoking (who is not addicted to the constant draw of emails, Facebook, Twitter…), then take a break. Head outside, if just for five minutes. The sun on your face, a walk around the block, fresh air in your heart, head and lungs can clear the mental debris that can accumulate.
  4. Love. It’s hard to be mad, sad, or lonely when you love. Whether it is somebody—a child, a friend, a spouse—or something—a dog, a favorite jogging route, or a song—love. Love what you do, love who you do it with. Just love. Because building self-esteem is a life-long exercise, not unlike brushing your teeth or taking care of your body, it’s something that you can practice every day. You can exercise it, the way you would a muscle, and build a strong and beautiful mind that will inspire you to do things you could never have imagined. Life may knock you down. Certain people certainly will try to. But you are here for a reason, with your beautifully unique combination of skills and talents. So in the words of Winnie the Pooh: “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”