But are these love potions anything more than snake oil? Debby Herbenick, PhD, research scientist at Indiana University and author of Sex Made Easy, says it’s a mixed bag. While research suggests that certain oils like Zestra may boost pleasure for some, most products are typically unregulated and untested. To be on the safe side, Claire Cavanah, co-founder of the sex-toy boutiques and website Babeland, says to avoid products containing parabens, menthol, and citrus, which can be irritating. Also, don’t confuse oil for lubricant, she says. Oil breaks down latex (as in, it doesn’t mix well with condoms!), and oil lasts and lasts—an invitation for bacteria to grow and upset the balance in your lady parts. For tried-and-true ways to ramp-up romance, Herbenick suggests these sure-fire approaches:
Use your mouth. Talk about your wants and needs with your mate. Sometimes talking alone can reignite the spark in your partnership.Lube it up. Research confirms it: A dollop of water- or silicone-based lube makes sex more pleasurable, satisfying, and a whole lot more comfortable for women.Give good vibes. You know that vibrators are a great way to optimize orgasms for women, but they’re also a big pleasure booster for men, too. [New to adult toys? See our discreet shopping tips.]Please yourself. Getting in touch with your erotic side on your own time can help heat up couple-time, too.Break your rut. “Adding variety to your sex life can be pleasurable and boost desire,” says Herbenick. One big tip: Remember that there is more to sex—and pleasing each other—than vaginal penetration, she says.Get lots of shut-eye. Good snoozing habits are a must if you want oh-oh-ohhhhhs instead of just zzz’s at bedtime. After all, it’s hard to even think of being in the mood when you’re exhausted.
Eat Greek. It’s no coincidence that Eros, the god of love, hailed from Greece. Research has linked a Mediterranean diet with better sexual function. Get a hand around the house. In Herbenick’s research, women said they were more in the mood when their mates pitched in on household chores (nothing like a man with a dishtowel). Skip the quick-fix. Beware of drinks or pills that claim they’ll stoke your desire. “I know of no good data to support nutritional or herbal supplements,” says Herbenick.
More from Prevention: 40 Things You Should Know About Sex By Age 40
