Couples retreats, group bike rides, dinner reservations for four? Yup, sounds like you’re in love—and so are a bunch of your friends. But when was the last time you booked a table with an odd number of seats? According to new research in the journal Psychological Science, that couples-only social circle might cultivate an unhealthy prejudice against your single pals. In a study of 450 people, both single and coupled, researchers found that those in a stable relationship were more likely to treat individuals of the same status favorably—even in situations where relationship status was irrelevant, like a job interview or voting for a political candidate. “When people feel like their current status—in a relationship or single—is likely to last a long time, they have a strong need to see that status as ideal and exclusively positive,” says Kristin Laurin, PhD, a professor of psychology at Stanford University. In particular, we tend to exhibit this kind of exclusionary behavor when our relationship status seems relatively permanent, Laurin says. “It’s scary to confront being ‘stuck’ with something that is in any way negative,” she says. “So coupled people who recognize that their freedom is compromised by their relationship may be particularly prone to showing this effect.” But note that the tendency goes both ways: Single people might flaunt their swinger status, but are also prone to prejudice against paired off folks—perhaps, as this study suggests, because they’re scared of being solo forever. Fortunately, you can avoid being that couple. Here, two tips to keep the judgment—intentional or not—at bay: The grass isn’t always greener. Clichéd, but true. It’s totally normal to turn a little green hearing about your single girlfriend’s spicy nightlife…especially when you spent your weekend watching a Law & Order marathon. But keep the pros and cons of different lifestyles in perspective. “Everyone, single or married, deals at some point with challenging issues, from families to job stress, money, sex or no sex,” says Iris Krasnow, PhD, a professor at American University and author of The Secret Lives of Wives. Chances are, she’s just as envious of your family-oriented routine. Step outside your comfort zone. According to both Laurin and Krasnow, we often engage in relationship-oriented prejudice when we feel disconnected from a different kind of lifestyle. “The desire to surround yourself with ‘people like us’ feels safer,” Krasnow says. The solution? Grow your group of friends to include people who broaden your horizons—whether they be 22 or 92, single or married. More from Prevention: 8 Friends Every Woman Needs Questions? Comments? Contact Prevention’s News Team.
