1. Miss Piggy: In The Kitchen With Miss Piggy The headstrong Muppet diva called up a cast of celebrity friends and asked them to share recipes for this 1996 cookbook. The recipes are fairly unexciting (brownies, pasta salad, breaded chicken breasts) but Miss Piggy’s salacious running commentary adds plenty of absurdity. “Samuel is in all those darling little shoot-’em-up movies with big sweaty men and guns,” she writes as an introduction to Samuel L. Jackson’s linguine with meat sauce. “I’d rate his recipe ‘R,’ as in: R you busy tonight, Samuel?”
  2. Ted Nugent: Kill It & Grill It Rocker Nugent and his wife Shemane shell out tips on hunting, cleaning, and cooking game meats (denim vests required, apparently). After the first step (“Kill something!”), the enthusiastic carnivores share recipes like Sweet ’n’ Sour Antelope, Pheasant Chow Mein, and, unexpectedly, Banana Chocolate Crêpes.
  3. Kris Jenner: In The Kitchen With KrisThe reality TV mogul includes just two dishes in the “Comfort Food” section of her 2014 cookbook: clarified butter and cream of wheat. Huh?!

MORE: 25 Guilt-Free Comfort Food Recipes 4. Elizabeth Taylor: Elizabeth Takes Off In this book, actress Taylor writes an emotional recollection of her highly publicized weight gain—and shares the recipes that finally helped her lose. Sadly, one of those recipes is a tuna salad that calls for tomato paste, grapefruit, scallions, and mayonnaise. 5. Dean Martin: The Celebrity Cookbook The famous crooner was only one of many celebrities who contributed to this 1966 cookbook, but Martin’s blip of a recipe is by far the most memorable. We can’t decide what’s weirder: the fact that 1-ingredient burgers count as a “recipe” or that he specified serving on TV trays. MORE: The Skinny On 8 Bizarre Celebrity Diet Food Trends 6. Deidre Hall: The Days of Our Lives Celebrity CookbookDays of Our Lives Soap opera stars know revenge is a dish best served cold—but what about strawberry pie? Longtime actress Deidre Hall says the dessert should sit in the fridge for a few hours before serving (and though we appreciate the tip, we kind of wish the book had photos of the food instead of just the actors). 7. Bob Barker: TV Celebrity Cookbook This 1994 volume features mashed potatoes from Oprah Winfrey, Wayne Gretzky’s spinach linguine, and the adorably alliterative Bob Barker’s Bruschetta. (Does he tell his family “Come on down!” when it’s ready?!). But we have a hard time believing that anyone (even a famous person) would don that much bling and black satin to cook a plain old artichoke. Give that woman an apron! 8. Renee Graziano: How To Use A Meat CleaverMob Wives We have to admit that the Italian-American recipes in this cookbook from the stars of VH1 reality show don’t look half bad. But, tasty meatballs aside, this is not a cookbook cover we’d like to show up in our dreams. 9. Jack Benny: Sweet ‘N Low All-Star Recipes A swath of old-school celebs, including Ed Sullivan, Phyllis Diller, and Zsa Zsa Gabor, contributed to this 1970 book, but it’s the objectionable references to Sweet ‘N Low on each page that really take the cake. For example, there’s the dig that appears after Jack Benny’s Peppermint Bavarian recipe: “If you need a shoehorn to get into your housecoat—It’s time you tried Sweet ‘N Low.” MORE: Meet The Writer Who Tried 14 Insane Celebrity Diets 10. Ann B. Davis: Alice’s The Brady Bunch Cookbook Davis, who played the family maid on The Brady Bunch, opens this 1994 cookbook by writing, “Personally, I can’t cook.” No surprise, then, that Kirkus Reviews said Davis’ oatmeal bread has “the texture of sawdust and a dog-biscuit taste only Tiger could love… Even intense nostalgia cannot justify this book.” Ouch.