Take a walk at lunch. In a study of women ages 45 to 55, sexual satisfaction correlated directly to fitness. “The less exercise they got, the lower their desire and sexual satisfaction,” says study author Judith R. Gerber, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Vermont College of Medicine. Read something kinky. Erotic literature “can quickly jump-start arousal,” says Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist who works at Good Vibrations, a woman-owned sex shop in San Francisco. She recommends the Herotica series, written by women, and The Diary of Anais Nin. “Perfect for anyone who’s not ready to get into bold four-letter words,” says Queen. Flex your muscle. Flexing your pelvic floor muscles—the ones that stop the flow of urine—instantly increases desire and sexual sensation because you’re mimicking the contractions of orgasm, says sex educator Patti Britton, PhD. For more instruction, see 3 Questions And Answers About Kegels. Have a massage. “The skin-on-skin contact stimulates the sex hormone oxytocin,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. “The more oxytocin released, the more desire a woman will feel.” Slip into something sexy. Putting on a pair of black stilettos or a sheer cami invigorates you sexually because it makes you feel more daring, says Kerner. “It stokes your sexual imagination so you can play a role, like a good girl letting her sexy side out.” Steal his Viagra. Ask your doctor about taking one of those little blue pills. You may be ready to go in an hour, says Laura Berman, PhD, founder of the Berman Center. Why? It increases blood flow to the genital area—something women need for arousal just as much as men do. Though the FDA hasn’t approved the pill for women, doctors can prescribe it. Take a shower—together. “Being clean makes you feel sexier and more open to receiving oral sex,” says Kerner. “And you’re also more likely to want to reciprocate with a clean partner as well.” Buy a battery-operated buddy. “Vibrators bring the circulatory system into play right away and can greatly speed up your arousal time,” says Queen, who adds that pleasuring yourself won’t curb your desire for your partner. Use a lubricant. “Clitoral touch feels better faster with lubrication,” says Queen. MORE: Are You Really Listening?
