Being a perfectionist dieter is “the all-or-nothing mentality,” says Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association and the author of The Flexitarian Diet. “Real life is just not conducive to this perfect-eating attitude.” The desire for perfection can be learned from your parents or from living in a culture obsessed with beauty and wealth. You are reminded on a daily basis what you could have or look like if you just worked a little harder and had more self-control. Whenever you start a new weight loss program, it’s normal to want to follow the rules exactly. You trust that if you do so, you’ll be successful in melting off unwanted pounds. You’re convinced that this approach is the right one—until you hit the familiar speed bumps, such as overindulging with pals at an after-work happy hour, and your resolve comes to a grinding halt.If you can answer yes to several of these questions, you might be a perfectionist dieter: 1. Do you typically begin your new program on a Monday? 2. Do you use the words good and bad to describe certain foods and your eating behavior? 3. Do you typically want to speed up the process by eating less than your program suggests to reach your goal? 4. Do you expect to suffer, feeling starved and deprived? 5. Do you expect to completely eliminate your favorite foods? 6. Do you fall off the wagon and throw in the towel after making just one unhealthy food choice? 7. Are you convinced that past failed attempts were due to lack of effort and/or staying focused? If these patterns and attitudes sound familiar, you may be unnecessarily setting yourself up for failure. The good news? You can successfully lose weight and keep it off without dieting “perfectly” and trying to follow a plan to the letter. Follow these 7 weight loss solutions and you’ll escape the perfectionist trap once and for all:

  1. Don’t start on a Monday According to a study conducted by Brian Wansink, PhD, the author of Mindless Eating, 46% of people said their last attempt to start a weight loss program began on a Monday morning. This study found that by Tuesday night, 31% of those dieters had already given up on their plan. Beginning a diet on a Monday makes you feel like the weekend is your “last meal,” says Alyse Levine, MS, RD. You’re telling yourself, I can eat whatever I want because it’s the last time I’m going to eat those foods. On Monday, I’ll be strict again. But if your new eating plan isn’t satisfying, hunger and willpower might do you in quickly, causing you to cave by, say, Tuesday afternoon, when a coworker offers you sweets from her candy dish. Instead of waiting until a certain day to begin your diet, start making healthier choices at your very next meal—even if it’s just a small change, like ordering your lunchtime sandwich with mustard instead of mayo. When perfectionist dieters are even slightly derailed, they are likely to want to give up for the day and “start again tomorrow” or “start over on Monday.” But “the next meal or eating opportunity is a time to refresh, to begin eating wholesome foods again,” says Blatner.
  2. Clean up your language Avoid using “good” and “bad” to describe yourself and the foods you eat. These words promote the all-or-nothing mindset that you’re trying to escape. Levine encourages her clients to allow themselves to taste the indulgent food they crave and ask themselves if they are enjoying it as much as they thought they would. She says dieters often may not even enjoy the flavor of the “bad food” but want to eat it because it’s something they think they shouldn’t have. The forbidden nature of the food is often more appealing than the actual taste. This rebellious behavior reflects the struggle between trying to follow your super-strict rules and cutting yourself a break now and then. It’s okay to give in occasionally; just make sure the food you indulge in is worth it to you. “Don’t think of a food as good or bad,” says Levine. “Think of how your body feels when you eat a healthy food instead of another unhealthy food.” She tells her clients to imagine what eating a healthy snack like an apple with peanut butter during the workday will do for their energy levels, as opposed to eating a bag of chips, and encourages them to actually experiment with each snack and note the difference in how they feel afterward. It’s fine to indulge in treats, Levine adds. Just enjoy a small serving and savor the flavors you love. MORE: 16 Little Changes For Big Weight Loss
  3. Stop starving yourself A perfectionist is used to achieving what she wants by going above and beyond to be the best—and being the first one to arrive there. So, naturally, applying this dedicated mindset to your weight loss plan and cutting more calories than your diet calls for should get you to your goal in record time, right? Excessively reducing portions until you’re ravenous won’t work long-term, says Blatner. “Hunger is the number one enemy to good intentions. Hunger will sabotage you.” Instead, she recommends reportioning what’s on your plate so you fill up on healthy foods that contain fewer calories: “Eat more vegetables and less of the steak and potatoes. Rather than having tiny [portions of] everything, increase the produce section so you’ll feel full and be less likely to overeat later.” Blatner recommends eating three meals and two snacks each day, with meals spaced about five hours apart and snacks in between, when you need them most. She says that when people try to be too perfect at mealtime, they feel physically and emotionally dissatisfied, so they wind up doing a lot of mindless munching and snacking between meals, which can stall weight loss. Stay satisfied by eating well-rounded meals and keeping snacks to 200 calories or less.
  4. Don’t suffer through Do you associate a growling stomach, irritability, and daily deprivation with weight loss? “A red flag that a diet won’t work is if it feels difficult to maintain,” says Blatner. “Ideally, the way you’re eating to lose weight should be how you eat for the rest of your life.” Blatner suggests you rate how difficult your eating plan feels on a scale of 1 to 10. She says you should feel like you’re at a 7, which takes effort, consciousness, and planning, but not a 9 or 10, which you know you can’t keep up forever.
  5. Don’t dump favorite foods The best way to keep cravings under control is to give yourself permission to have them on occasion, without guilt, as part of your weight loss program. “We make hundreds of decisions about eating each day, and we can’t make them all perfectly,” says Blatner. “You have to give yourself wiggle room.” To minimize the risk of overeating, she suggests enjoying indulgent foods in social situations rather than when alone. If you’re craving pizza and know it’ll be difficult to stop at one slice when faced with an entire pie at home, invite friends over for a pizza party. Indulgences can be part of your regular eating program if done in moderation, says Blatner. She tells clients that eating just one pizza slice balanced out with a big salad is better than avoiding pizza altogether. “If you love a certain food, having controlled portions won’t derail you; rather, it helps you stick closer to your plan on other days,” she says.
  6. Don’t beat yourself up You went overboard at the restaurant last night. Now you’re feeling bloated, guilty, and ready to beat yourself up—while reaching for a pint of ice cream. Step away from the freezer—and recognize that though you had a lapse in judgment, it’s even worse to give up. “Don’t throw in the towel,” says Blatner. “Reflect on how this happened, why this happened, and what you can do in the future to prevent it.” Over did it? How to bounce back from overeating and lose weight fast.
  7. Forget the past It’s easy to feel guilt and shame about weight loss strategies you’ve tried and abandoned in the past before achieving your hoped-for results. Levine suggests that before embarking on a new, healthy eating plan, dieters take time to reflect on the reasons earlier attempts didn’t work. “[Most dieters] blame their weight gain on eating certain foods,” says Levine. “But if they really thought about how they ate those foods, I bet they would realize that most meals and snacks were eaten with guilt and shoveled quickly into their mouths. Or they ate mindlessly when feeling stressed, tired, bored, anxious, or lonely.” A starting point for any perfectionist dieter is to focus on eating all meals and snacks mindfully; that is, sit down at the table and enjoy your food without any distractions, such as watching a favorite TV show, reading the paper, or checking e-mail. “This will help you to really taste the food and be in touch with your hunger and satiety level so you can stop when satisfied,” says Levine. And if you find yourself slipping back into that all-or-nothing thinking again, take a deep breath and repeat this phrase from Blatner: “The key to optimal physical health and mental wellness is progress, not perfection.” MORE: 16 Simple Ways To Eat A Bit Less