At first, we were surprised. Why would a company that needs a 37-page PDF to list all the ingredients in its food open itself up to such scrutiny? Things got weirder when we saw the campaign’s videos series starring Grant Imahara, a former cast member on MythBusters. (H/T to John Oliver for being the first to raise an eyebrow at the utter ridiculousness of this decision.) Most of the videos begin the same way: with a shot of Imahara driving his car, presumably reveling in the big-ass paycheck McDonald’s is sending his way. “McDonald’s knows you have a lot of questions about their food,” he says. F*ck yeah, we do! So let’s get to it. The first video answers the question: “Is McDonald’s beef real?” Here, the company addresses the specter of pink slime, the controversial meat additive that caused consumer uproar in 2012. (McDonald’s, it should be noted, did use pink slime, but discontinued it in 2011, according to a press release.) Imahara rolls up to the Cargill Beef plant in Fresno, CA, for a tour. Apparently the beef there just materializes inside giant vats now, because any mention of farms, cows, or slaughterhouses is avoided altogether. MORE: Pink Slime Is Baaaack… We see some meat grinding and some gleaming stainless steel. Finally, after McD’s has shown its burgers to be free of fillers, Imahara takes his first bite of a Big Mac in 15 years. And everyone goes home happy. Kind of. See, this video is emblematic of the entire campaign in that it employs highly selective transparency. Is McDonald’s beef real? Sure, but we won’t tell you where it comes from or much of anything else about it. Does McDonald’s use real apples in its apple pie? You betcha, and after you read that answer, you get to watch a wholly unrelated video of apple farmers walking around a sun-drenched orchard, too. But the inquiries stop after the shallow questions like these. You won’t find a question addressing how many other ingredients the apple pie contains (37, for the record). Even worse is the McRib video—during which the vice president of McDonald’s’ pork supplier actually compares the use of preservatives propyl gallate and butylated hydroxyanisole (“reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen,” per the NIH) to “following a recipe, just like [Grandma] does at home.” To be fair: All the nutritional and ingredient information is available on the company’s site, but it’s always buried a few more clicks away on another page—like they hope we’ll be deterred by handsome apple farmers and McRib jokes and just forget what we were looking for in the first place. MORE: Organic McNuggets: Coming to a McDonald’s Near You? Let’s humor this strange little campaign for a moment and say that maybe McDonald’s isn’t pure evil. They’re certainly not alone in serving low-quality food full of unsavory additives—plenty of other chains do it. McDonald’s doesn’t use pink slime, their fish is caught in the wild, McMuffins are made with real eggs, and they actually explain each of the 19 ingredients contained in their fries. The company admits that their beef is treated with hormones and their corn and soy products are likely genetically modified. But try as we might, we can’t get past the ass backwardness of this entire endeavor. Subtly congratulating yourself for selling “real” food? Preaching transparency when you’re really pulling back the curtain only a fraction of an inch? It’s a weak campaign that assumes your customers are dumb enough to accept half answers in place of real ones. And they’re not. Want to really earn some respect? First, don’t hire an ex-MythBuster to implement your make-believe objectivity. Second, answer everything—not just the easy questions that make for pretty videos. Like, for example, some of these: • How are your suppliers really raising their meat? • Why does the McRib require preservatives when the beef patties do not? • Sure you want to stand behind this statement? • Come to think of it, do you really want to defend your use of azodicarbonamide when one of your biggest competitors has already phased it out? • In your official ingredient list download, the Big Mac is listed as having seven ingredients: “Big Mac bun, 100% beef patty, shredded lettuce, Big Mac Sauce, pasteurized process American cheese, pickle slices, onions.” But buried deep in the document, we see that five of those ingredients are made up of ingredients of their own. There actually more than 80 ingredients in the Big Mac. And it’s not just the Big Mac—basically every menu item is listed this way. Can’t you show us a little respect and stack all the information up front? • Is caramel coloring—an ingredient associated with potentially carcinogenic compound 4-methylimidazole—necessary for things like Big Mac Sauce, English muffins, and flavored coffee syrup? • Why did you bring this new mascot into our lives? We’ll be waiting, Mickey D’s. MORE: Pink Slime-Proof Your Kitchen: How To Grind Your Own Meat
